Random

Super weird to look back, super exciting to look forward (: But it's the best to enjoy the present ♥

HSC here I come. (: I'm gonna own you. ♥

♥520 1314♥

Bitter Byes

I'm never good in saying goodbyes. It's always been my reflex to go away and avoid goodbyes. After awhile, I then regret doing so because I've missed the only chance of saying it. I don't know though why I keep doing it over and over again even though I know I don't want to do it. This is so hard for me. I want to disappear. I want to go back. I hate this.

This is even worse than what I experienced two years ago. This is so much painful because I've never thought I'm going to be able to make this many memories in such a short time. Seeing the faces of my friends and my classmates and knowing that it's one of the few times left, I always find myself with teary eyes. I hate crying. So I just walk away.

It's been two years, almost three. I still remember my very first day, their first greetings to me and the first lessons we had together. Why does everything have to come to an end? Here I am again, finding it so hard to let go and move forward.

"Here have some bubbles"

"YAY!!!"

"Give me two...", I said.

"Why two?"

"Nope. Never mind. I just need one", I forgot I have no one to give it to.

Seeing my spot so empty and blowing bubbles alone make me so sad. Another form of goodbye. Where are you? It's only been less than two days and I feel like I haven't seen you for years.

Why does it have to end? Why can't I just stay in High School? When will I ever learn to say good bye properly?

Psst

I forgot I didn't publish the following post after the weird one. It was saved as a draft. There's a date there. Please check (:

It's nothing. (:

untitled

Got so emotional. Of course it's not true. All I said was 'cause I'm not thinking properly. It's just that point in time. My head was playing with me. But it's nothing. Of course I trust him. It's just nothing. (:

GRRR

grapes GRRRR

Almost the end

GRAPESSSSSS! I'm so looking forward to my retreat and the Easter Show. Everything is going so fast. It's nearly the end of Term2 of Year 12. WOW! Well, the end of learning days of this term has come to me. It's already my exam week. I'm so excited of finishing all these exams because I know I'll get a reward after. GRAPES GRAPES I don't want this term to finish yet. Why is it so fast? :/ Later I'll be graduating without even realising it. I don't want to leave my school. :/ Ehhhh..

Zombie

Everything is happening too quickly and I am trying to keep track of everything. I couldn't really afford to miss anything. In effect, I feel so weak and so down at the moment.

Have you ever experienced having a blank face almost all the time? And whenever you see someone that you know or someone that you usually smile to, you just give a blank face? You really wanted to smile but you don't have the force to do it. Or if so, it's too late to be smiling because the person has already left.

Those stuff are currently what I am doing. I'm a zombie. I don't know what is actually happening with me. I could not sleep when I wish to. I always have to find trouble in falling asleep every night. I feel so heavy when my body is only less than 40 kg, actually not really heavy to carry.

I will find a way to overcome this. I will try to be lively as possible as I can so that everything else follows. And first I'll do that by smiling again. Make me smile, I don't want to be grumpy. And I apologise for being such a zombie. I must be revived.

*

"Hey Erna, how are you doing? You can drop Eco if you want." -My Math Teacher

***SHOCKS*** <-- good news? are you sure? :O

OMG! ♥

It's really nice to be back in school. My first day of this school year was super fun. ☺

We started a new topic in Math which is so much better than the last one we had. I just got an A in English. YES ENGLISH! HAHA. OMG I am so much improving. But of course life is still fair because my day wasn't perfect. Just when I was so high for having such a 'day', it happened so that my last subject has to be Economics and today is my first meeting with my new teacher. HAHA. She was the most boring teacher ever and all I wanted during that lesson was to get out. Goodbye Economics, after all I'm going to drop you.

But oh well, overall my day was fun. And I am going to have fun tonight, meaning I'm going to do homeworks tomorrow. ♥

Start ♥

I'm so excited for friday. HAHA. But to be honest, I haven't really finished my homeworks. I've always been fixing my schedule but most of the time I'm not following it. It's hard to have discipline. HAHA self-discipline. I can't just sit and do my work until it's all done. There has got to be something left behind which is annoying. But it's ok. I thought that if I enjoy what I am doing then all these wouldn't be burden to me. Instead, a gift perhaps. (: I'm really excited. I don't know if it's the fact that I'm in yr 12 that makes me feel this way or is it something else. I must be scared. But I'm not. HAHA. I'm looking forward to doing HSC. Bring it on! ♥

Dream - Callalily

As i walked along the sky
Of my dream you came alive
And it feels you're made to change
My whole life
And i know you will be there
There for me to make me stare
And it will be always and
Forever in my dreams

Dream, it makes me change but not for real
'cause i only see you smiling
In my dreams, that's the only time
I make you feel
What i have for you is real

As i walked along the sky
Of my dream you came alive
And it feels you're made to change
My whole life
And i know you will be there
There for me to make me stare
And it will be always and
Forever in my dreams

Come to me and hold me in my dreams
Let me touch you for a while
And don't let me realize that i am dreaming
'cause i'll be missing you,
I'll be missing you?

As i ran along the sky
Full of dreams, hopes and lies
You just come to make me feel
That we're supposed to be together
And i know you will be there
There for me to make me stare
And it will be always and
Forever in my dreams

As i ran along the sky
Full of dreams, hopes and lies
You just come to make me feel
That we're supposed to be together
And i know you will be there
There for me to make me stare
And it will be always and
Forever in my dreams?

It's time to come around
It's time to wake up now
It's time to come around?

It's time to come around
It's time to wake up now
It's time to come around?

Strange

You seem so faraway when you're just here but you seemed so near when you were actually away.

Captured Moment

Not everything that is seen by the eyes is the truth. Sometimes you just got to have faith.

When things like this happen, I am the loser. I don't have the right to ask. I don't even have the right to react like this. Why do I care anyway? Whenever someone asks me about it, I've always been saying that I don't care. It's been months now and I am still bothered. I thought I've already forgotten about it. Why is there a need to remind me of this? It's a stain. Yes, it is a stain - dirty and inescapable.

How I wish I have the detergent to wash it off. Clearly, just water is not enough.